Why do I feel like everyone's leaving my side one by one ?

Suddenly, I feel so alone. Like no one's there anymore. Like there isn't any one I can talk to, I can't lean to. Not even my sis cos she's always busy now.

Fuck. Maybe this is life. People come and leave. Maybe I don't deserve anyone at all.

I don't want to hurt anyone really. I should leave then I guess.

The word u-turn and sucks keep ringing in my ears. Ultimate fuck.

You cannot do this yimei.
You know it's not right.
Come on. Think straight.
Evil thoughts go away.
Goodnight.

I miss those days when I could spot you around the school and meet you on the train. If only you are still in school now :<

永不回头

镜子里的我变得颓废
布满双手 的茧以及我艰苦的磨练
包袱从来不敢松懈
看着自己 的脸要撑下去等待机会
多少人半途而废 多少人被现实摧毁
但伴随着时间灰飞烟灭
但我不是个泛泛之辈
对自己的期待
不能放弃沉默和违背
每一个白天严格的锻炼
每一个黑夜我辗转难眠
我知道自己不能白来这个世界
我努力过每一秒知道你想实现
胜利它在哪 人生潇洒闯荡 突破计划层层
关卡我注定 不是一家
希望它在哪 大风大浪阻挡
不挣扎不害怕 没差我已蓄势待发
生命是一场战斗（胜者为王败者为寇）
我出手征服对手（绝不退后永不回头）
生命是一场战斗（胜者为王败者为寇）
我出手拼到最后（绝不退后我永不回头）
别担心到 现在已变成等侯
我们 开始奔跑像是单程的车票
列车一站一站停靠现在下车太早
只有前进 才能到远方的目标
机会他同时迟到开过的人后悔到老
而成功在哪里我只想 靠自己找到
这条路 不能退后 不能回头
不到最后 不知道谁是真正的高手
因为生命悲欢离合没有人能逃走
只好将一切喜怒哀乐 都抛到脑后
之前在拼个一次 就看我出手
这一生我决定向前走 永不回头
胜利它在哪 人生潇洒闯荡 突破计划层层
关卡注定 不是一家
希望它在哪 大风大浪阻挡
不挣扎不害怕 没差我以蓄势待发
生命是一场战斗（胜者为王败者为寇）
我出手征服对手（绝不退后永不回头）
生命是一场战斗（胜者为王败者为寇）
我出手拼到最后（绝不退后我永不回头）

Gogogo.

This is life. It brings you the things you've ever wanted when you least expects it and after you already gave up, got tired of expecting it. It brings you down even further when you thought everything has already been bad enough. Make you happy, give you hope when you thought everything's gone, when you thought everything's ended. Just when you think you can start over again, it proves you wrong, ending those hopes you held.

This is life, whether you like it or not. But hell no. I'd find my way, i'll overcome it all. I'll go against everything and lead life the way I want. I'll make things happen, I won't wait. I refuse to.








Your scent and the feeling of your arms tight around me still lingers...

I wonder how it would be if this happened 2months ago.

Do I still get what I was promised ? (: haha.

So touched cos I just received my notes from my tuition teacher. He actually sent via letter to my house ! Gan dong max.

Just realized that nothing's ever gonna be the same again. I'm making the change, and i'm happy. (: shall strive hard and really work hard for once.

Gogogo~! :D

Maybe I was scared when you said those words. Idk.
I feel tired. Do you ?

I think I just need more sleep.

But i'm really happy cos SHINEe coming back soon !! Wheeeee~ haha.

Alright. I feel better after ranting everything just now. Maybe what I said isn't entirely true, but that's all I heard so. Yeah. I just don't want those around me to get into the picture. I'm protective of them much. That's all.

Say what you want. As long as I know it isn't true, that's all that matters.

Of course, shinee and suju and others matters too ! Wahahahaha. Can't wait to see my girls tmrw for movie ! ESP NANA ! <3 6years alr. Woots !

I want someone to pat my head now and tell me it's alright. Anyone. :( I'm stressed. Like really stressed. You won't understand unless you are in my position. With so many eyes on you and expectations on your back. Sometimes it feels even hard to just breathe.

And why are those people so free. Why they want to know so much about my life ? I heard some check my fb everyday ? For what ? Best is some went to infer things which ain't even true and starts spreading it. Win already then. We don't even talk in real life or even had any form of communication before so how much do you actually know about me, or rather, how well enough do you know me to say things like that ? And I don't even know some of you. ._. I'm NOT trying to act popular or whatsoever. Just kind of angry cos it drags my friends down too and they didn't do anything. Maybe i'm just feeling vexed. Heh. I don't know. Exam stress. Sigh.

I really wonder where you get your courage from sometimes. You are so brave. Really. Well, at least you dare to fight for what you want. Not afraid to let anyone or even the one know how you feel. Unlike me. Been like that since forever. Don't dare to express my true feelings for anything.

Alright. I should study.